Book Review: Holidays on Ice

I must admit that I tend to have a complicated relationship with the holiday season. Besides the commercialism, the greed, and the ruthless behavior (a Wal-Mart employee was actually killed on Black Friday by members of a stampeding crowd), there is also the manufactured, maudlin, feel-good songs and specials to contend with. This can be particularly unnerving for people who work in the service industry; while murderous, bargain-crazed shoppers are not typically the norm (I hope), retail workers must deal with some very unhappy, loud customers (after working 7+ Christmases in retail, I have faced more than a few). Unfortunately, all of the sweetness and light offers little comfort.

That is where David Sedaris comes into play. His book, Holidays on Ice, which has just been reissued with several more essays (most of which have been previously published in Sedaris's other works), offers a much-needed respite from the saccharine cheer often found during the month of December. Made up of reminisces from his experiences as well as several fictional essays, Holidays on Ice emphasizes the needless craziness and shallowness of the holidays. However, it isn't an entirely caustic depiction of the Christmas season.

While I haven't read the newest edition of the book, I have read the 1998 edition several times. The main attraction of the book is "The Santaland Diaries," Sedaris's account of his employment as an elf at Macy's in New York. This essay is what catapulted Sedaris to fame after it first appeared on NPR, and it stands up to multiple rereadings. In addition to Sedaris's hilarious description of his various exploits (such as when he tells shoppers that they can see Cher if they stand on the magic star) to his perceptions of the different Santas and elves that he worked with, he also offers some heart that helps temper the cynicism. The same is also true "Dinah, the Christmas Whore," an essay about Sedaris's childhood, in which he gains some insight into his older sister's life away from the family.

The other essays in the book are of the fictional/ satirical bent, and some are more successful than others. Given my theatre geek tendencies, it is unsurprising that my favorite is "Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol," in which an angry theatre critic harshly reviews the Christmas pageants at local elementary schools. It balances the bombast of some theatre critics while also satirizing the trite fare offered during the holidays. The remaining three essays, "Based Upon a True Story," "Christmas Means Giving," and "Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!" are funny, but I don't find them quite as successful as the rest of the book. Specifically, "Season's Greetings" and "Based Upon" are a little too harsh for even my tastes.

While the essays are a little uneven in quality, Holidays on Ice is definitely worth reading (or rereading) during this time of the year. The balance between sweet and sour makes it a refreshing antidote to the syrupy concoctions that abound during the month of December and reminds us that often there is something inherently funny in the insanity surrounding the holidays. It is worth noting that the new edition of the book contains several new essays, some of which relate to Christmas and some which have to do with other holidays (namely Halloween and Easter). While all but one of these newly included essays have been previously published in Sedaris's other books, this new edition is definitely worth a look, if only because it contains the hilarious "Six to Eight Black Men," which certainly deserves a place in the Sedaris holiday canon.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am frantically writing this blog while waiting for my potatoes to finish cooking; it is the first time I'm having people over for Thanksgiving, and I am more than a little nervous. However, my fear of under cooking or overcooking the turkey not withstanding, I am very grateful for many things this year. Here are some of them, in no particular order:

• The fact that Barack Obama is the president-elect.
• My family (and it's my sister's birthday today!)
• My jobs - I work for two of the greatest bosses ever. Plus, I get to work with some interesting, inquisitive students who want to change the world (for real).
• I don't have to work retail this holiday season!
  
• My friends and classmates - they are smart, snarky, and supportive. What else could I ask for?

I'm sure there are dozens of other things that I should mention. However, I've got to go finish preparing dinner. To keep this post from being too maudlin, here is a fantastic clip from The Addams Family Values. After being forced to attend a summer camp for WASPy, affluent children, Wednesday and Pugsley are coerced to participate in a play about the first Thanksgiving, which was written by one of the counselors. While Wednesday finds the play "puerile and under-dramatized," she eventually agrees to appear in it in order to lull the counselors and her fellow campers into a false sense of security. Enjoy!

Quick Review: A Colbert Christmas

From reading my blog, it may seem like I am a joyless cynic. While this is partially true, I also happen to love Christmas (particularly since I'm not working in retail anymore). Despite the over commercialization of the holiday and the fact that the holiday season starts in the middle of October and lasts until the end of December, I still squee like a schoolgirl when the Christmas season proper (the end of November) starts.

However, all of this sweetness and light can be rather overwhelming, not unlike being forced to eat several large clumps of cotton candy all at once. Consequently, I had high hopes for Stephen Colbert's A Colbert Christmas, which aired on Comedy Central yesterday. In addition to combining satire and Christmas (two things I love almost equally), I usually find Stephen Colbert's absurd bluster amusing. Unfortunately, I wasn't completely enamored by the show. While there are some funny moments and shout-outs to people who have watched The Colbert Report faithfully, the show seemed to go overly long and the jokes, which could have been very funny with the right pacing, sometimes were driven into the ground long after they ceased being humorous.

Perhaps this is an instance of something that seemed much funnier on paper than the end result suggests. When thinking about it as a passing idea, the concept of Stephen Colbert's pompous, insane, mercurial character having a Christmas special seems insanely funny. However, a little Colbert goes a long way; one possible alternative to the resulting hour long show (featuring cameos by Elvis Costello, Jon Stewart, and Willie Nelson) would have been to split up the show into segments on The Colbert Report.

Nevertheless, I find this clip, featuring Jon Stewart attempting to entice Stephen with Hanukkah, funnier than I can begin to say. My favorite part is Jon's "They are CANDLES!"

It's Turkey Lurkey Time

So, it is 1:00 AM on Monday morning, and I should be asleep because I have teaching/ class in the morning. However, I've been lying in bed obsessing about everything that I need to do in preparation for having some friends over for Thanksgiving dinner. While I have a relatively clean apartment due to my efforts this weekend, the thought of cooking a turkey breast for the first time on Thanksgiving day is going to give me hives.

However, I must admit that I am excited about having people over to celebrate. The past few years, I've done the Thanksgiving buffet experience at some of the area hotels, and while this is fun, it feels more than a little odd to spend that much money on a single meal (and still not have any leftovers). I'm also fairly confident about all of the other food that I'm preparing, so the worst case scenario is that we'll have lots of side dishes to eat if the turkey doesn't work out.

Anyhoo, just in case you are wondering what on earth the title of this post means, it comes from a song from the musical Promises, Promises. While it was originally performed by the awesome Donna McKechnie, the best quality version I could find for posting purposes was from the not very good yet strangely compelling movie musical Camp:



Are you still there? If so, congratulations. "Turkey Lurkey" is a screwed up song that has felled many a person. My brother, sister, and I were all horrified when we first witnessed this number; considering that this was when we first saw Camp, you can only imagine how stupefied we were. In a movie filled with "WTF?" moments, I think that this is the pinnacle. Since then, we've cultivated a love-hate relationship with this song. While we will make fun of it at any opportunity, we still listen to it. Perhaps the best explanation of the number's strangeness comes from the always funny Seth Rudetsky, who deconstructs the song's performance at the Tony Awards:

Twilight Haters of the World Unite!

Oh Twilight - like the monster (vampire?) at the end of the movie, the book just won't go away. Here are a few resources for people who (like me) want the book/ movie/ phenomenon that is Twilight to be sucked into a black hole:

• Roger Ebert's review, while not as scathing as I had hoped for, makes some interesting points regarding the nature of Bella and Edward's relationship and the ridiculous amount of pan stick the actors playing the vampires must endure for teenybopper entertainment.
• The Dari Burger, which usually focuses on the enduring crappiness of Sweet Valley High, is now analyzing/ tearing apart the new, shiny (like Edward in the sun) crappiness of Twilight. One of the highlights is an imagined conversation between the blog's author and Stephanie Meyer. While some might argue that Ms. Meyer might not deserve to be hated on this much, her obsession with Edward (which leaves Shonda Rhimes's obsession with McDreamy in the dust) and her tendency to compare her work to that of classic authors (Jane Austen and Shakespeare) make me feel that some of the hate is justified. Quite frankly, I like to think that Jane Austen would HATE Bella with a sincere passion and eviscerate her verbally if given the chance.
  
• The incomparable Mrs. Giggles offers her views on Twilight; unsurprisingly, they aren't very complimentary. To give you a small taste of what she thinks about the book, she calls it pornography for teenage girls...
• The amazing ladies at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books (don't you just love that name?) reviewed Twilight and gave it a solid D+. SB Sarah seems particularly affronted by the decidedly meh character of Bella.

I know that is is very wrong, but all this hating on Twilight warms the cockles of my heart in ways that a sparkly, undead boyfriend could never hope to do.

Twilight Overload

As most of your know, I am not a fan of the Twilight series, in which a really passive, boring girl falls in love with a noble vampire. However, I have found that I can't hide from it - since the movie is coming out this week, the book is EVERYWHERE! There is a new movie tie-in edition of the book (complete with the freakishly pale cast on the cover and on the pull-out poster in the back of the book) as well as a soundtrack and ubiquitous magazine features. Even In Style magazine, which is one of my guilty pleasures, had a photo spread with some of the cast members.

The only potential bright spot is the possible backlash that may come from the critics and fans. If anything, I look forward to reading Roger Ebert's review; even if I disagree with his overall review, he always does a good job of showing exactly why he liked or disliked a particular film. Furthermore, I have heard that some people are horrified by the movie trailers, and the thought of millions of angry Twilight fans makes me happy inside (I never claimed to be a particularly nice person).

Rent's Endings: The Film Version & the Alternate

Just in case you wanted to see and compare the ending Chris Columbus opted to use for the film versus the alternative, I've posted both below. I'll also include some commentary at the end (so you won't be prematurely distracted by my grumblings).

The Version Used in the Film (ending 1):
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The Alternative Ending (ending 2)


I prefer the alternate ending for a number of reasons. Besides providing a great framing device for the movie (the film opens with the cast on the bare stage singing "Seasons of Love"), the alternate ending is also far truer to the play than the version Columbus opted to use for the film. In the play, the entire cast sings the song and is rejoined by Angel at the very end. Although Angel is present in ending 1 (through Mark's movie), he doesn't have the same presence that he does in ending 2.

I also find that Columbus's rationale for using ending 1 is a cop-out and underestimates the audience's intelligence. According to his director's commentary, he decided to use ending 1 because the beginning of the film seemed so distant from the end and asking people to make that connection took them out of the moment. However, I think that most people are cognizant enough to remember something that happened less than two hours before. Furthermore, the image of the cast standing on the stage in their individual pools of light is so striking that it is an image that most people would remember.

Finally, there are so many small, nuanced moments in ending 2 that makes it the better choice. From Mimi's look of joy when Angel enters to the small touch of the hand between Angel and Collins to the beatific light that surrounds the characters, it is considerably more memorable and poignant than Mark's grainy, Baz Luhrmann/ Oliver Stone-esq video footage.